Go Group 24!
So Go Group time is a time when our groups could get together and talk. There were 200+ people on the trip so we were broken down into groups of 8-12 people or so. Our group was group 24 so we kind of went with the TV show 24 theme even though no one in our group actually watches the show. We were an explosion of awesome none the less. I have to say our group was pretty much the best :) We had 8 of the nicest people put together and we could really talk to each other and be real without ever feeling judged.
The first night with our go group we discussed our "full self." Our journals asked us what we felt about bringing our full self to the trip. Was it scary? Exciting? Uncomfortable? This one was a difficult one for me. I think what they mean by full self is pretty self explanatory. So we went around the room and told each other how we felt about bringing our full self. It was interesting to hear every one's story and how they felt. I don't think I've ever been in that type of open discussion before and it was really cool to be a part of. No one seemed to hold back and everyone just told how they felt. My answer went a little something like this:
"It's a little bit of everything for me (scary, exiting, and uncomfortable.) I've never been an open book in my adult life and the last 5 years have been hard for me. I've had a lot of things that have changed me, made me stronger but also weaker at the same time. I've been that independent strong woman with a kind heart and a sarcastic mouth. On this trip I kind of want to break that down, bring my full self and try to lower the steel wall I've built up over my heart. The theme of the trip is to get known, get loved etc and I don't let myself do that, ever. It's all because of my past which I'm sure pales in comparison to the pasts of the people I'm about to meet. I'm a positive upbeat person, and I love to meet new people, help people, do great things but I do hide most of me in the process. I don't know how to break that wall down but I want to start to try."
It took a lot for me to say those things and it felt good to know there were other people in my group that were going through the same things. They all seemed like they really wanted to help me and be there to watch me grow. I loved hearing everyone else's stories and their struggles with being their full self. Made me feel like I'm not the lone shell in the corner.
Elise, Jessica, Maria, Scott, Mary Kate, Tisha, and Daniel I loved hearing your stories and thank you for listening to mine and helping me grow.
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