You are not what you think...

I've finished the book, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, but I'm still thinking over some of the ideas in the book that I really liked.

Miller talks about a friend of his, who was focused on work instead of family. When his wife had a baby he was amazed by her. His whole perspective on marriage and family changed and his focus changed to his wife and child instead of work. Miller asked his friend how his wife felt about her husband's new found amazement with her. His friend stopped and thought that he hadn't actually told her, he said "I guess I figured she knew." Miller goes on to say:

"And that's the first time I realized that the idea a character is what he does makes as much sense in life as it does in the movies. I thought about my friend's story from his wife's perspective. She only knows what he says and what he does, not what he thinks and what he feels. I'm sure his wife picked up on his new found enthusiasm, but it did help me realize the stories we tell ourselves are very different from the stories we tell the world."

I am guilty. This is something I've been working on gradually over the last few months. I always think up all these grand things I could do for people. Few of them I ever act out. I think and feel all these wonderful things of people, but I don't always show it. I'm guarded for sure, which makes me look entirely different on the outside than what I feel on the inside. The first thing I thought to say was 'people who know me well, know the real me,' but do they? Or do I really want people who don't know me to think I'm mean? Not really. I don't know how many times I've heard, "I thought you were mean the first time I met you." Not great. You are what you do. Very simple concept and almost a no brainer on the surface, but if you think about it, it's deep. Time to switch up some things.