What's for dessert??

I have a really busy day at work today and it's full of horribly boring finance and mind numbing buys, sells, markets, shares, securities, gains, losses, blah blah blah blah blah. Sometimes I just need to take a break and think about cupcakes so that I don't lose my mind. So that brings me here to explore the options of baking this holiday weekend. A lot of times I think I should have either owned my own bakery or done photography. Those are the things I love. So here are my options....

Red Velvet Cupcakes with Cream Cheese icing? Okay so they're not all cupcakes but this has always been a crowd favorite. Strawberry Shortcake, I can add some blueberries and it's all set. These look pretty great. Strawberries dipped in white chocolate, with either blue sprinkles or blue food coloring. More cupcakes!! Chocolate with cream cheese icing, topped with strawberries and blueberries. yummmThese look the funnest but I'm not sure I'm on board with the ingredients. Strawberry or Cherry Jello, pudding, Blueberry Jello, whipped cream topped with blueberries, strawberries and raspberries. Not to sure about that.

I've been put in charge of desserts for not one but two parties this weekend. Which looks best??

If you need a laugh....

and we share the same sense of humor...

My Old Kentucky Home

I've scheduled my vacation for my trip around Kentucky! I'm really really excited about it. October 7th-11th, I have five days to drive through as much of Kentucky as I can. So far I've had one suggestion for a place to visit. I'm looking for scenery like this and old small towns with tons of character. We'll see what I can find!

TEACUPS!!!

These two little gems are my new obsession and I might not stop until I get one of my own. I've already taken the liberty to name her too. Talula. This is a name that I thought I reserved for a dog until I spotted these teacup piggies in a magazine. I NEED one! To be continued...

love this...

'Come to the edge,' he said.

They said, 'We are afraid.''

Come to the edge,' he said.

They came.

He pushed them...

And they flew.

You are not what you think...

I've finished the book, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, but I'm still thinking over some of the ideas in the book that I really liked.

Miller talks about a friend of his, who was focused on work instead of family. When his wife had a baby he was amazed by her. His whole perspective on marriage and family changed and his focus changed to his wife and child instead of work. Miller asked his friend how his wife felt about her husband's new found amazement with her. His friend stopped and thought that he hadn't actually told her, he said "I guess I figured she knew." Miller goes on to say:

"And that's the first time I realized that the idea a character is what he does makes as much sense in life as it does in the movies. I thought about my friend's story from his wife's perspective. She only knows what he says and what he does, not what he thinks and what he feels. I'm sure his wife picked up on his new found enthusiasm, but it did help me realize the stories we tell ourselves are very different from the stories we tell the world."

I am guilty. This is something I've been working on gradually over the last few months. I always think up all these grand things I could do for people. Few of them I ever act out. I think and feel all these wonderful things of people, but I don't always show it. I'm guarded for sure, which makes me look entirely different on the outside than what I feel on the inside. The first thing I thought to say was 'people who know me well, know the real me,' but do they? Or do I really want people who don't know me to think I'm mean? Not really. I don't know how many times I've heard, "I thought you were mean the first time I met you." Not great. You are what you do. Very simple concept and almost a no brainer on the surface, but if you think about it, it's deep. Time to switch up some things.

Moonshine

I had some this weekend for the first time. There's a good chance I'll have to start shaving my chest from here on out. WOW. Maybe it's not as bad if you don't mix it with other types of liquor, or maybe it's just always that bad. I'm not sure if I want to try it again to find out.

Missing Nola...

You Don't Know Jack

I watched this movie last night and really liked it. We started a small debate about it in the office when he passed away and no one seemed to want to touch the subject. I think it's a fine line. I do not disagree with what Dr. Kevorkian did for his patients. In the movie you find he turned away several patients who were clinically depressed or in the very early stages of a terminal illness. He didn't assist people who didn't want to live anymore. He only assisted those who could not physically bare the pain the endured every single day; people who were no longer 'living.' He made good points too in saying that people on life support can pull the plug and essentially starve to death, but they can't make the choice to euthanize themselves. The fact that the procedures were done in vans and hotel rooms is obviously less than desirable. Either way I'm not 100% sure where I stand on it. Even if Dr. Kevorkian had the best of intentions, I don't think if this were legalized that every doctor would have the best of intentions with it. So as he was trying to legalize it because he believed doctors and insurance companies were greedy to keep people alive who were no longer 'living' and were sticking their families with the bill. He may have created a new monster by having it legalized. I can see it being abused and very expensive. Jury is still out on this one...

I'm not looking...

I'd say something deep and profound in this post if I thought it were the right time...

Wishin' I was still here...

Witnessing Love and a message from above...

Last night was my step-sister Megan's wedding. It's so cliche to say 'aww they're so in love' 'you could just tell how happy they are,' etc etc. It's true though, I'd put them up there with the top 3 weddings where you could feel love in the air. There's obviously love in the air at every wedding, they just kick it up a notch. Megan is one of the most amazing people I know. There's only one other person that I know that I would put on her level. You never hear anything mean come from her. She's always smiling and uplifting. She's just radiant, and not just on her wedding day. Her mother is amazing and her grandmother was amazing and she's taken their best qualities and has become the type of person we strive to be. She met Josh at the church his parents own and they haven't looked back since. She looked gorgeous on her special day and truly deserves all the happiness Josh brings her.

I was nervous about the day knowing my dad would be missing. My dad had been in Megan's life since she was 8 and I know she thought of him as a second father. I can't say it wasn't hard to see another man walk behind my step-mom to her seat at the start of the wedding, but I understand. Seeing her move on reminds me that life goes on. The world doesn't stop in hard times. We have to be strong, miss our loved ones and keep going. Judy has always been a phenomenal woman, whom I have always looked up to. Even though this situation is difficult for me to handle, she's teaching me, guiding me, even though I'm not completely on board; I get it. Why would she just lay down and die because her husband is gone; taken too soon? There's a lesson to be learned from it.

At the reception Megan shared an amazing story with me, that taught me something even more important. Judy had a dream the night before the wedding, she said she was sitting in the sanctuary all dressed up and ready for the wedding to begin. My father walked up and sat next to her, in his suit and tie freshly shaved and his hair cut, ready for the wedding. Judy was shocked and cried out "what are you doing here?!" he simply said "you have no idea what I had to go through to get here."

I couldn't hold the tears. It reminded me of the dream I had right before I graduated college, where I was a little girl sitting on his lap and he told me how proud he was of me. I believe these types of dreams are real. Real messages. I've had other dreams about my dad but only one like that. It reminded me that Judy loved my dad, not that I didn't think she did that's ridiculous, but she did and she still does, and she always will. But she let go, not because she wanted to but because she had to. She's been through so much in the last 3 years and she deserved that message from my dad, maybe even needed it. The message wasn't only for her, but for Megan, me and anyone else who loved him. Megan was so happy to hear that story on her special day, and she didn't get sad and depressed about his physical absence but felt blessed about his obvious presence. She helps me feel that way too :)

Quotes from Donald Miller

Still can't get enough of this book!

While talking about writing characters in his screenplay… “I felt the way I hope God feels as he writes the world sitting over the planets and placing tiny people in tiny wombs. If I have a hope, it’s that God sat over the dark nothing and wrote you and me, specifically, into the story, and put us in with the sunset and the rainstorm as though to say ‘enjoy your place to in my story. The beauty of it means you matter and you can create within it even as I have created you.”

“If you aren’t telling a good story, nobody thinks you died too soon; they just think you died.”

“Characters have to face their greatest fears with courage. That’s what makes a story good.…Polar changes, these happy and sad things in life, are like colors God uses to draw the world.”

“It’s not an agitated Voice, but ever patient as thought it approves a million false starts.”

“When people say life is meaningless what they really mean is their life is meaningless.”

Sunsets

Things I’ve learned or love about A Million Miles in a Thousand Years…

“We get robbed of the glory of life because we aren’t capable of remembering how we got here. When you are born, you wake slowly to everything. Your brain doesn’t stop growing until you turn twenty-six, so from birth to twenty-six, God is slowly turning the lights on, and you’re groggy and pointing at things saying ‘circle’ and ‘blue’ and ‘car’ and then ‘sex’ and ‘job’ and ‘health care.’ The experience is so slow you could easily come to believe that life isn’t that big of a deal, that life isn’t staggering. What I’m saying is I think that life is staggering and we’re just used to it. We are all like spoiled children no longer impressed with the gifts we’re given- it’s just another sunset, just another rainstorm moving in over the mountain, just another child being born, just another funeral.” –Donald Miller

I absolutely believe this. I try to appreciate these things in life but I know no one takes heed to the little things every time. I say the little things but aren’t these really the big things? Enormous even? If you really sit down and think about it though, if you really looked at how amazing everything around us is, we wouldn’t graze the surface; it’s incomprehensible. How do you appreciate every single sunset? Every single baby born? Every single rainstorm?

I found this interesting because the night before I read this chapter I went to my mom’s house to take a walk with her around the neighborhood. It was nice enough to take time to walk and talking with my mom. Something simple, something important to life; that I truly appreciated. On the way home from my mom’s house there are a couple farms, some white fences, rolling hills, horses, barns, etc. I have to come up a small hill and when I reach the top I can see the farm land, and I’ve always thought it was really pretty. I’ve thought about photographing it a couple of times. That night the horizon was bright orange covered in a baby blue sky and right in the middle of the road was the sun setting. It was so gorgeous; I can see it in my mind still. It was so pretty that I turned around in my car to try and get a picture of it. By the time I turned around and came back the sun was in a totally different position and that scene I saw just minutes before, had vanished. It was meant to be appreciated in that moment because seconds later it was gone. I think this happens with a lot of things in life and it might be what Miller is talking about. We are given so many gifts to appreciate and we’re way to busy with our cell phones and jobs and ipods that we miss them, because they vanish quickly.

On one hand I do appreciate them, when they happen randomly. I don’t seek them out. While in Mexico for seven days, I had no interest in getting up at 5am to see a Mexican sunrise, I saw a tequila sunrise a couple of times, but that’s as far as I went.

Slow down and enjoy the sunsets... and sunrises :)

still beautiful but not nearly as pretty as it was the first time around :)

Food Inc.

I watched this documentary and they're right 'you'll never look at dinner the same way again.' I'm not going to say I'll be a full blown vegetarian again, but I will definitely be cutting way back on meat consumption. Yuck.

Or maybe since I live around farm lands and all I'll try to get meat in better places.

end of the trek

I know posted a little bit of information about a local man, Brandon, who left for a trek across the country to raise money and awareness for cancer. We'll he's back and I very much enjoyed following him on-line, seeing where he was, looking at his pictures and his travels. I’ll be one of the first in line to buy the book he plans to write.

Before he left he took pictures from people whose loved ones died of cancer and he planned to leave the pictures as a trail along his journey. I went to his benefit and I took him a picture of my daddy. I loved the idea of my dad travelling with him on this amazing journey and I looked at his pictures everyday to see where my dad would end up. Every couple of days I’d see a picture of a picture in his mobile uploads, I’d click it and read the story or the person he was leaving in his path. My dad never showed up. This was a struggle for me. I never in a million years want to discount what Brandon did. It’s truly truly amazing. He went 2,200 miles which he tried to do by foot but when he got to Missouri (note that he walked/ ran 650 miles) he physically couldn't go any further. He rested for a week and did the rest by bike; he could have given up but didn’t. He has touched so many hearts, given so much hope, and just really brightened the hearts and souls of so many people. I can’t say I wasn’t disappointed that I gave a picture of my dad and it wasn’t left; I was really excited about it. I realize that’s selfish but it sucked a little for me. I guess that just wasn’t my dad’s journey. I’m far from having any hard feelings about it.

I’ve decided to leave his picture in each city on my journey through the ‘south’ as well as leaving his picture in Gatlinburg when I go for my 30th birthday. I told my best friend forever about it and she said ‘Well I guess you’re just going to have to leave his picture in Gatlinburg when we go for your birthday.’ I loved it. She knows me and my connection with Gatlinburg and how much my dad loved it there. It’s the last trip he took before he died and I wasn’t able to go with him…

I guess Brandon and his truly remarkable journey wasn’t supposed to be my dad’s; I think I’m supposed to leave him on mine…

Let's get outta this town tonight...

Last year I went on a mission trip to New Orleans. I went to help people heal from the terrible tragedy that was and still is hurricane Katrina. During the trip I was on the photo team. We took pictures of families that lost everything in the storm. It was by far the most fulfilling, most amazing trip I have ever been a part of. I was on cloud nine for months after returning.

This year I regretfully decided to forgo the trip to New Orleans. I thought it was an okay decision for me when I made it, however the last couple of weeks I've really been struggling with my decision. Let me back up. When I made the decision not to go it was purely based on resources. I am a horrible fundraiser and I didn't want to end up putting what I couldn't raise on credit. I thought that was the right thing for me to do; the responsible thing to do.

I decided that since I'm working on a spiritual journey I would take a smaller trip, by myself, take pictures, write and just quiet my mind. Do some soul searching. You know like some people do when they travel around Europe but this would be the easier more cost effective version. So here's what I came up with for my trip around the south, well not south, south but more south than me...

Day 1: Home to Louisville. 1 hour 30 mins driving.
Day 2: Louisville to Nashville. 3 hours.
Day 3: Nashville to Memphis. 3 hours 30 mins. Go to the Neely's BBQ!
Day 4: Memphis to Decatur Alabama. 3 hours 30 mins

Day 5: Decatur to Chattanooga. 2 hours
Day 6: Chattanooga to Knoxville. 2 hours.
Day 7: Knoxville to Lexington. 2 hours.
Day 8: Lexington to Home. 3 hours.

Eight days might be a little bit too much so I may cut out Louisville or Lexington if needed. So the idea is to get up bright and early every morning, travel to my next destination, stop along the way to look around, take pictures, to be quiet and just think. Enjoy my surroundings. Take it all in. I'm thinking the fall might be the best time to go. Kentucky and Tennessee in the fall are so pretty.

You may be thinking "if you couldn't afford New Orleans how are you going to afford this?" Well I'm selling an old car and I'm taking my sister with me. So it will be a lot cheaper. I'm still bummed I didn't plan better to be able to go to New Orleans but I'm looking forward to getting away and doing something different.

A Million Miles in a Thousand Years...

I started reading this book today on the bus, on my way to work. It was recommended to me by a person that I think is wonderful so I figured it had to be good. I'm only 30 pages in and I'm already a fan. The author Donald Miller has written another book, a memoir, and I very much want to pick that book up as well. Right now in the book they're discussing when this memoir, Blue Like Jazz, was made into a movie. I'll be looking for that on Netflix!

Because a book doesn't translate well on film Miller has to recreate himself for the film. At first he's apprehensive about this but after thinking about it he's happy about being able to recreate himself into the person he would like to be. This struck me. He described it as making himself into this more confident man, good with the ladies, etc. He puts it like this:

"I was creating the person I wanted to be, the person worth telling stories about. It never occurred to me that i could re-create my own story, my real life story, but in an evolution I had moved toward a better me. I was creating someone I could live through, the person I'd be if I redrew the world, a character that was me but flesh and soul other. And flesh and soul better too."

I loved this because immediately wanted to do the same thing. Think about the me I want to be and make it happen, live through her, become her. This is something I will do; and not just talk about. I'll have to spell out who she'll be in the weeks to come.

It's funny, he also talks about how we don't remember our lives. We remember certain things that happen but not full detail. One of his friends resorts to writing everything down to remember his life. That's what I started this blog for. Not only to write about my journey, but to remember it later in life. I have one of the worst memories known to man. Miller says in the beginning of his book that he hopes he has a good story to tell God when he gets to heaven. That his life's stories are interesting. I hope so too.