Sushi

I know I'm way behind but I could never stand sushi. I don't like fish; at all. Don't like the taste, don't like the smell, don't like the look. Of course you can guess that eating raw fish doesn't sound one bit good to me. My friends LOVE sushi so last time we went to a sushi bar I tried vegetarian sushi. Some had cream cheese and sweet potatoes, the other had asparagus in tempora. YUM!!! I found some sushi I can eat. Yay me. You know the next step for me is to try and make some. :o)

Buddy

I have been looking into becoming part of the "buddy program" with the Colon Cancer Alliance. The description of this programs is as follows:

"Living with uncertainty is the biggest challenge for any person faced with a cancer diagnosis. Even the most close-knit families need outside support — and who better to provide that support than others who have been there or are there now? Buddies have experienced what you're going through, or are about to experience. They understand because they are colorectal cancer survivors, caregivers, family and friends."

Number 1, I don't know if it's a great idea for me to get involved in something like that. Would it be too hard? I wouldn't know whether it would be more rewarding than depressing unless I try it.

Number 2, I feel like I would only be helping if my father survived colon cancer. How do I give encouraging words when my experience with colon cancer was a pretty bad one? Of course my grandfather survived it with early detection so I do have that, but I didn't know him. If my father had an colonoscopy at an earlier age the outcome most likely would have been different.

I want to get involved somehow, to help, to know that with my father's death I can be involved in something positive to carry on his name. Just not sure if this is the right choice or not.

Stuck....

More and more I'm beginning to think that some of us are trapped. I've been trying hard lately to figure out what it is I am supposed to be doing with the rest of my days. There is no way that I can do the regular 9 to 5, come home make, dinner, watch sitcoms and go to bed only to do it all over again in the morning. I would go insane; I may already be halfway there.

I admit I'm not the best at saving money and being smart about planning for the future. I've always taken my life day by day. I could be dead tomorrow for all I know so why am I putting a certain percentage of my pay check in a stock account for when I turn 55? I could be using that money to see the world. Maybe one day I'll wake up and wish I would have been 'smarter.' I'm already over my head in student loan debt, with degree that doesn't really do anything for me at the moment and I don't see it doing much in the near future either; let's be honest. I want to travel the world, snap pictures, help those less fortunate and write about it. What is my degree going to do to help me get there? The way I see it is it's holding me back from getting there. I could have used that thirty grand to pay for my travels.

Last night I was in a bad bad mood, in a bad bad way. Office job had me on the brink of skipping town, never to return. I went to bed last night trying to remind myself of how fortunate I really am. I thought about maybe getting a second job to take care of some things and prepare myself for what I want to do when I'm released of my obligations to my current employer. I woke up this morning ready to take on the world again, only to find a puddle of water in my dining room. No the cats didn't spill their water bowl, no no that would be too easy. Instead there is water leaking from my roof. Who hates me and why? I can't wait to see how much this adds on to my never ending 'bill.'

I understand that I still have a roof, a semi-warm home, food, clothes, etc. Let me not be ungrateful. It's just weird to me that someone that wants to help, wants to use her life to help others seemingly can't. I can't drop all of my financial obligations to do something better than myself. Boo hoo me right? It's just a weird system to me. The one that we live in. I can not afford to take on a life of helping others. Why is that? Because I chose to get an education. Does anyone else not see this as WEIRD? I've learned more through reading books myself that I've come close to learning in a university. But hey, I have that piece of paper that says I'm somewhat smart (since the Bachelor's degree is becoming standard.)

I'm trying to figure out where to begin to dig myself and start the life I see for me. Sometimes it just feels like the roof is caving in; figuratively and literally.

Valentine's Day

For Valentine's Day this year I went on a date with three of my close friends that are also single. I've never dreaded Valentine's Day as most single people do. Then again I have been in a relationship most years.

We started off by seeing the new movie called Valentine's Day at Newport on the Levee. The movie was cute but isn't the best movie to see when you're not dreading Valentine's Day because, well, it makes you dread Valentine's day, lol! I can't imagine how people felt that were already unhappy in their singleness. I've become pretty accustomed to it and okay with it; almost prefer it. The movie goes through several relationships and of course almost everyone ends up happy in the end. It's exactly like every other unreasonable love story. I had forgotten how much I avoid these types of movies.

I've tried to get back in the dating game and it's so useless. It's utterly impossible to find a man that isn't obsessed with himself. All claim not to be, but one date proves them wrong. Maybe I have too many requirements. I won't settle though, so I may be out of luck. That's ok with me.

The movie has wrecked my groove a little, but don't worry, I'll get it back.

Church

For those of you who know me you know that I only go into a church when I absolutely have to. Weddings and funerals became absolutely the only time I would step foot into a church; sometimes even then I would wonder whether it was ok to skip the church part. I grew up Catholic and went to church twice a week 1-7th grade and then every Sunday until I was about 18. Church definitely became a boring burden. I've remained spiritual but uninterested in any type of organized religion. I'm open though and a couple of my close friends attend Crossroads church on a weekly basis. Although I got involved with mentoring and GO New Orleans through the church I had never actually been there. Every year for the Superbowl they have a large service which myself and friends decided to attend. I was completely shocked to see the inside of this place (pictured below)

The picture doesn't even come close to capturing the inside. They have several stations with free coffee and tea. They have a soft drink bar and for this service they were passing out popcorn. They have a huge day care center for the kids during the service, they have several computers for Internet usage. The auditorium the service is held in is huge as well. It had a large lower level and two levels above.

I truly enjoyed the service. It's so different from what I have come to know as church. They made it fun, they made it interactive, they made the teachings I've heard my whole life actually apply to my life in real terms. There was no kneeling, no standing, no chanting, etc. Just speaking, personal experiences and openness.

There is a place like Crossroads near my house called Seven Hills and I will be going there this Sunday. I'm excited to see what it's like.

CPS

I have been tutoring Deacesa on Wednesdays for about a month now. I pick her up after work and we go to the library in Newport to go over her homework. I am amazed at the stories she tells me about what goes on in her classrooms and the teacher's lack of interested in their success.

She is in the 7th grade and I had to show her the proper way to take notes. The proper way to write out equations in math. I also showed her the basics of using an assignment notebook and how much easier it is to stay organized with folders; things I had no idea a 7th grader would not already be doing out of habit.

I looked over all of her past tests and homework assignments and everything is simply marked right or wrong. There are no corrections, suggestions for improvement, nothing that would help her better her grades.

Yesterday she told me she had a substitute teacher for math. The sub decided not to teach because he didn't know how to do the math. Now I'm no math wiz but the math that she is working on is not hard. Give me 10 minutes to look at the chapter and I can teach it. I have been doing it each week in our tutoring sessions. Instead the children rapped, the teacher rapped, followed by a discussion on 'baby momma drama.' Is this really the best that Cincinnati Public Schools have to offer? It's definitely a wake up call for me.

I became interested in being a mentor because I knew that there were children out there that did not have the advantages that I did growing up, but I really am shocked to see just how bad the intercity's school system is. I am looking forward to their next Parent/Teacher conference because I will definitely be in attendence. I have a feeling they won't like me too much when I'm through. It's inexusable to allow a child's education to slip through the cracks. Her course work is in no way preparing her for a real highschool and most certainly not preparing her for higher education.

On Wheels...

Deacesa and I

My second outting with my mentee Deacesa was roller skating. I have to say I was both nervous about breaking a bone and excited because this was something I did every single weekend for years. I had flashbacks of Skateland Paradise in Dayton Kentucky, my best friend Jen and I wearing the matching sweaters with tights that had sturr-ups, big hair bangs, and skating to the sounds of Billy Ray Cyrus. That's right I said it; I am NOT ashamed, lol. I was 12, I cannot take the blame.

This trip roller skating would not be in Dayton but in Cincinnati at the Fun Factory. The crowd was different, the music was different, but to my surprise my skating skills remained the same. Deacesa and I had a blast and I was glad she was able to skate and have fun without holding my hand the entire time! This may be something that I start doing on a regular basis. It's one of Deacesa's favorite things to do and it's good cardio, lol.

My Friend Kelly and her mentee Artisha (Deacesa's sister)

Dancin!