Have you ever had to fight yourself over feelings? Of course you have, I know I'm not the only one. I am in like a knock down drag out fight to the finish with myself. I have the most ridiculous feelings for a man that did me wrong. And now I know that I sound like those ignorant women out there that stay with the men that hurt them. Well let me start off by saying I didn't stay. I left. Immediately. So dramatically that I hopped the next 3 hour flight home. F$#$ that I was outta there. No questions asked. I've always been a tough chic. I might have stuck by my man through some deep shit but you cross the line and you're dead to me. Feelings gone, like they were never there. So here I am a year and a half later still having that strong connection with this man that promises he's turned over a new leaf. I've finally "fixed" that bad boy I've always been attracted to. Have I though? How do you really judge it? How do you figure it out? How do you determine whether going back would be the best decision of your life or the worst?? People change right? I've never had a problem with confidence so I know I'm worth it. Especially should be to this man because he was my king and I did everything I could to show him that. I want to believe that the heart doesn't lie. And my heart is aching for him to be back next to me. There is a part of me that is really fighting that though. It wants to seek out others to take his place, unfortunately in the last year and a half I've been all up and through that. No one comes near him. They don't even graze the surface. Even my best friend that hated him for what he did to me believes there's a change in him. It's possible.... Right?
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