Living

So last night was a bad night. Well it didn't start off that way. I actually had a nice time shopping for things for my trip to Naw'lins! Got my very first piece of luggage, lol. Don't judge me. I usually borrow it from someone else but it's about time for me to have my very own, lol. And it's red so while you're looking for your 'not well thought out' black luggage on the baggage carousel I'll be able to stop mine from far away :)

Anyway. I think I have everything I need for my trip and I am more than excited about that. I had a bit of a dad breakdown last night though. So weird, came out of nowhere and it was severe. Guess I just wanted to know if he's feel proud of the things I'm trying to do. I know everyone would say he would be. Not the same though. I know my dad used to have a very different view of things than I did. I wonder if he sees my point of view now.

Maybe I thought about it because while I was shopping this older woman, maybe 75, says to me "oh to be a size 4 again. The time just went by too fast, those were the days but they just went too fast. It's not over yet but you know. You enjoy them young lady." It's so hard not to take things for granted, but things like that really open my eyes. I think this next week is going to be a big eye opener too.

Last night in the middle of my little breakdown I thought a lot about my dad's last couple of days. How I sat by his side and refused to leave. I held his hand the entire time, and that was a big deal to me. I felt like I held on to make up for the past, so he'd know everything it was too late to say. I hope it worked.