Deceptive.

A friend of mine told me today that he believes the human heart is deceptive. I have never thought of it before but I think that statement is completely true. I catch myself all the time desiring things that I don't need or that I know aren't good for me; although I can feel it deep in my heart that I want those 'things.' Is it possible that I try to force normalcy on myself? Or has my daily routine become so 'out of the ordinary' that I can't go back?

No matter how great something may seem, or maybe could be, it can't feel the slightest bit forced. I've become so lost in translation that I can't tell the difference anymore. Am I fighting toward something I want or something I think I want? Do I think I should do things because that's what I'm supposed to do? Or have I really isolated myself so much that I don't desire normalcy? Sometimes I think it's that deep and other times I just think it's not my time. More things need to be done first. I was put here, in this position for a reason and I intend to figure out the purpose.

I'm throwing myself into my photography project. I'm saving everything for Ireland. I'm eating better and exercising. These are things I know will help me find where I should lay. I've most definitely neglected my friends lately. I'll fix that too,